Monday, May 14, 2012

Memory Lingers

Yesterday was Mother's Day.

Shortly after my mother’s funeral a woman friend of mine came up and said to me “Welcome to the Sisterhood of Motherless Daughters”. The phrase comes from a book by Hope Edelman, and though the book explores the depth of pain experienced by daughters who lose their mother at an early age, the truth of it comes from the shared experience that women of all ages must face at some point in their lives.  This transition is entered into with hesitation, reluctantly, and even now it's taken me a while to understand that pain and loss and devastation if allowed to do their work can be cleansing, like fire. They clean away all that’s unwanted in the soul; things like fear, hesitation, resistance and leave behind a new resilience. It isn’t an easy process, this renewal, but it’s necessary.

Memory lingers.

I still hear my mother’s voice urging me to tasks beyond my own level of confidence and I know I go forward into the world each day because I can remember her eternal and unwavering confidence in me. I’m also more aware of and humbled by the strength of the women I still have in my life, women who prove they are a new creation each morning born from the testimony of the faith they live out each day in their own lives. 

The love my mother left me still clings to me and always will, and for that I am thankful and I understand along with other daughters that Mother’s Day is not a day of mourning for us because of remembered faces no longer in the world; it’s a day of life-affirming commitment.

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

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